Addendum:
The below account did not lead to my demise. I was found, hospitalised and am recovering.
A subsequent blog post will be published in the next couple of weeks, with explanations, apologies and updates to the case. A third and final post will be duly published a few weeks after that.
Chris Ross – 08 September
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Hi all,
Well, I guess this is goodbye. Or at least, I hope to hell that it is. This is not a cry for help. I’ve done all the calculations, so everything should work out as planned. No, this is not me throwing my toys out of the pram. My final words, if you like, or even my legacy? I just hope that I get all the final communications out in the correct manner, so everybody is aware. If all of you can please pass this message on to everybody you can think who is relevant, that would be really appreciated. Share if you see the link and posts on Facebook, forward on if via WhatsApp and by mouth and message, as you all see fit. Please, as a final gesture to me, I wish for my recount to be heard, to be highlighted, my advice and forewarnings to be heeded. This is for the betterment of my fellow man, not a vindictive condemnation of one single person. I yearn not for anybody else to suffer and endure as I have done. It is important to flag up the symptoms, behaviours and aptitudes that contribute to an abusive relationship, for folk to recognise the patterns and not to fall fowl. It has taken me a considerable amount of time to appreciate and comprehend the inevitability of it all. My account and gesture, I hope, will put a spotlight on this and spark up a debate and Campagne to make awareness a higher priority.
This is in no way meant to be an autobiography, but simply an account to why things have got to this point. I suppose, I need to have my voice heard for the last time and for the message to go out to everybody. for others not to suffer, or even endure as I have done in recent times. I hold Rosie Irwin wholly culpable for what has happened and she has certainly been the catalyst to this conclusion. I will try and describe the various things that have happened over the past couple of years and hopefully, give an authentic account to where things have led. I ask you all to please share my account with all you know, so people can be forewarned and for people not to be able to fall into the traps that I have. Preventative actions is what I am ultimately seeking here. Let the word be spread across the communities, both within those that I venture and those that Rosie does. Let the word be heard and allow folk to judge for themselves.
I suppose there is no good chronological way to recount everything that has happened. So, please forgive the haphazard bouncing around and around. I’m simply writing this as I think of it. I hope that it becomes clearer and clearer as I go on, but hopefully you will all unpick the most vital areas. I am aware that this is a very lengthy oration (over 12000 words), but it is important that I get everything down and have shared. I will try and speak as truthfully as possible, and will not deliberately leave out any particulars. I will not claim to understand or appreciate the way Rosie has behaved and displayed the behaviours within here. It will be for her to try to justify any actions of hers if she’s so wishes, Although I’m doubtful that she understands that any of her behaviours has led to this ultimate sacrifice. I must also ask for forgiveness from the reader if this becomes somewhat rambling at times, but as the thought processes go on their way, it may run off on tangents On Occasions.
It was the end of August 2026, when Rosie went away to Birmingham for the weekend and quote cheated” on me for yet another time. I believe it was a Diamond pageant event and Rosie was staying at Charis Hawkley’s house, where the event with the other chap occurred. Rosie would not go into details to who it was, how much happened. I got the basics and that was heart-wrenching in itself. Physical intimacy was certainly had. I asked Rosie to how such a thing would happen, as she was very jealous in that regard. She would not allow me to keep in contact with previous partners and also insisted that if I ever flirted or did anything like that with somebody other than her, then she would view that very seriously. Her guilt from that episode led to a very dramatic conclusion, which provisionally, was delivered on the phone and very impersonally. The crushing devastation manner of being told, the delivery thereof, has completely eluded her, I believe. Callis is only one adjective that springs to mind, but utter ruination of me and my feelings was completely foreign to her. Indeed, upon returning from her lecherous encounter, she delivered her splitting message coldly by phone, completely indifferent to the abject hurt she was causing me. She then blithely trundled herself off down south to visit her parents, gallivanting off on shopping sprees and watching musicals in central London, with no regard at all for my pitiful broken self-rung out on the floor. Even blatantly posting on Facebook about nights out on the town, partying away heedlessly flouting her insensitivity. I was floored for over a week, weeping copiously whilst my heart was being torn apart a thousand times over. And unknown to me, Rosie was strutting her stuff around central London with the joys of spring. This complete obliviousness of the devastation that Rosie so dismissively left behind is the antipathy that she has always displayed for others.
Yet more, for as I WhatsApp the following day of denouncement, notifying her that I was leaving work due to being unfit to conduct myself in any acceptable manner, the instant response was not to bother her, she hoped that I could get some time off, obtain some counselling, and by the way, she was blocking me, as she didn’t want to hear how hurt I was. So, at my utter lowest, when the dagger couldn’t have been driven in any further, with me teetering on the edge of the abyss, she turned her back on me in my hour of need and demonstrated the type of contempt that I had accepted in the relationship for ever so long.
Let’s step back a moment and try and identify what the fundamental characteristics of Rosie are. By doing this, I can illustrate to where things have gradually built up and the constituting components for the bigger picture.
Five words to sum up the personality of Rosie Irwin. Egotistical, selfish, immature, superficial and demeaning. The first two are interwoven and the last is interchangeable with abusive, but in a much subtle way. It is probably best to take each one as it is, but there is a huge amount of crossover.
Egocentric is self-explanatory in itself. For Rosie it is all about her and nothing but her. It might be subconsciously done most of the time, but in all areas ultimately, it has to come back to her and what she is. I will try and give several examples of what I mean, but this can be verified by many of the people that we are both acquainted to and certainly by most of the people that I will name in this account.
So, let’s start with the physical and health issues that Rosie has. To be honest, her physical build is one of the truest things that I really loved about her, fantastic in every way and I worshipped her physicality. There were little aspects that I wasn’t so keen on, such as short hair. Anybody could live with that and a 100 percent perfection package wasn’t always going to be possible.
In the physical sense, I was very satisfied for most of the time with Rosie. This is something that I can never deny or say was untrue. There were other aspects of her physicality that wasn’t so pleasant most of the time. Hygiene was never top of her agenda. rarely did I see her bathe or shower on consecutive days. This made intimacy quite challenging at times, because it was to physically repellent to combine with Rosie when the hygiene was not good and the smell was quite disturbing. Similarly, she used to wear the same clothes for several days, if not weeks, without changing and laundering them, especially so, pyjamas. Even hoodies and blankets were used on multiple occasions without washing. Naturally, this led to intimate moments between us only being possible after a bath or shower, which, I certainly agree, made it very predictable to when things could happen. There was very little spontaneity in that regard, but it was the hygiene that really stopped unregulated moments from ever improving. This does sadden me, and maybe I should have taken more of a stance that the hygiene wasn’t an issue, but it’s something that I could not get over. Being subject to such uncleanliness on a regular basis is something that I could not satisfactory overcome.
Conversely, her appearance really mattered to her and she never really understood how vain she was and is. Appearance matters to her Even when it’s not obvious that anybody else cares. Such things as hair and makeup always had to be perfect even if we were just going around to the supermarket or heading into town. Clothing and fashion was obviously another thing for her and her work in the beauty pageant world certainly put an emphasis on this. The point is that it was all about her and her appearance and how people perceived her. She constantly told me that it mattered to her on how people looked at her and saw her. That I find incredibly sad, but again it was aimed solely at how she felt. If we think about the physical environment around her, everything was very cluttered and many people would say that there was a significant hoarding issue. A Visit to her house alone would demonstrate this, where things are scattered all over the place, the floors are covered and every surface has something on it or littered around. It was incredibly infuriating for me When dishes and glasses were left in random places on windowsills and on side tables etc. Tidiness and orderliness are obviously an essential thing for me, and this I found incredibly difficult to cope with, despite constant messaging and explaining to why this was a problem. Clothing was scattered all over beds and on floors, books and other utensils were strewn around. In my house alone, if you look at her side of the sofa and bed, this will clearly demonstrate this point. However, she did not take any regard for these issues, and simply acted in her own interest, without consideration for others and my challenges.
Weight is a constant concern for females, I acknowledge this. Rosie gained considerable weight since meeting me and going onto the contraceptive implant. A natural side-affect. She moaned bitterly constantly about having to manage her weight and always talked about work-outs, but rarely if ever did them. She would do fits and starts, a few for a few days. Nothing ever showed for the effort. Suggesting a regular gym sessions was met with utter distain. Even if I attended with her and supported her. She joined up and within a week, cancelled her membership. This wouldn’t have looked good for her in front of others. Other more attractive folk in the gym, fitter and shapelier. She didn’t control her diet to address this weight concern. Continual sweet things are in her diet. Chocolate was a major issue, but as of late, this has improved, although desserts and sweets are prevalent. Again, the point wasn’t really about getting slimmer for fitness sakes. It was about appearance. She always talked about her fat rolls, on stomach and back. Always commenting that people could see it in the clothes that she wore. It was about how she looked, about what others thought about her. Not about what was comfortable for her, what was right, what a balanced weight was.
Other physical aspects were that I was always the one to give comfort or treatment. I had to always rub her back, because this was a constant area of pain for her. She moaned of aches and every single day for hours I had to sit behind her and rub her back or kneed it in some way. There was very little reciprocal measures in this way. She was always asking her arms or legs to be tickled or stroked. She demanded these treatments, as though it was her right and my obligation to provide. I’m not saying this was a one way road, because sometimes, I did get attention. It was no less than 80%-20% in her favour. Again, this just goes to show how focused it was on her and it was her need that was greater than anything else. In many regards, I regarded myself as her personal masseur, and especially at the start of the relationship. For many hours, I had to give her massages. This constant, mostly one-way traffic in providing her physical comfort, took a great toll on me, both physically and psychologically.
Let’s move on to the health issues. I’m not playing down any of the health challenges that Rosie has or experiences, but it was exhausting to have to listen to these every hour of every day. Any ailment that I had or any friend that spoke to her about, was brushed off with very little regard. My German friend, Thorsten, and I chuckled about this regularly, as Rosie displays a similar trend to that of a person, with whom I lived with in Troisdorf, Germany, Karen. She was never without some physical issue or so and Thorsten made a similar comparison. My mother observed similarly whenever Rosie visited the North-East with me. Every encounter with any of my friends can also attest to this. The chess community can also verify this, for nearly every friendly game or match with Rosie usually is accompanied by some health complaint.
I’m not going to go into the various health issues that Rosie has, but suffice to say that it was one thing or another. Rarely was there a day where there was something not right, and if most things were OK, it was the headaches and tiredness that prevailed. As of late, it was dizziness and Vertigo, and other chronic fatigue / IBS type symptoms. I don’t deny that some of these may have been quite challenging, although I think most of the time these were very much played up. Even the GP disregarded these complaints as genuine. Rosie moaned that the GP was not taking her seriously enough, but if a medical professional cannot diagnose or identify underlying ailments, then, that is very significant in my view. No wonder then when Rosie stopped going to the GP for answers, as she wasn’t getting the attention that she so craved.
She claims that she was diagnosed at two years old with Aspergers, although we all know that this cannot be. Being such a young person, the government does not recognise such diagnosis. Agreed, that she displays significant autistic traits. Extreme intelligence in quick learning and understanding of new ways and systems. Very awkward in certain social settings, not being able to understand the room, constantly interrupting and blurting out inappropriate things. That I can definitely see. But this should never be used as an excuse for allowing these traits to be permitted. The mental health difficulties are obviously a very sensitive area and she constantly complained at me that I did not understand or appreciate what her mental health challenges were. She berated me for not making allowances for her mental health difficulties and used it as a constant “excuse” for behaving and speaking inappropriately. It is really puzzling not to understand how she did not see the boundary between mental health, and obsession, and extreme poor behaviour, which mental health difficulties do not excuse. Impetuousness, impatience, and rudeness is not excusable by a diagnosis of bipolar disorder or split personality. Mental health difficulties is a very complex topic and I don’t wish to go into the various aspects here, but obviously I have worked in disabilities and mental health services for many years and do have a comprehensive appreciation of what all the challenges are. Nearly everybody I spoke to, family and friends, all have stated that Rosy overshares and discloses these challenges, but then uses them as a label and justification to act and behave in certain manners. This is an area that is very challenging. An example of this is a recent meeting with my friend, Tyson, in Bristol. We met his partner, Chrissy for the first time. The conversation that ensued was with Rosie strongly viewing her opinions about various topics and supplying extensive personal health-related information. Making the whole conversation extremely awkward for all concerned and leaving me in a very hampered position.
She was always very proud that she was able to get these mental health difficulties in a formal diagnosis, whilst she was living in Swansea. She had to go through several medical professionals to get the diagnosis, but she was able then to use that for her own advantages, such as benefits and for personal independence payment.
I certainly have heard some of the claims that was made whilst she was applying for these benefits, and it makes me cringe to how she has managed to play the system in such a manner. I’ll come on to benefits later, but she was also quite proud and claimed on several occasions that she was incredibly lucky to be in large amounts of benefits, which enables her to lead such a lazy existence, being able to sleep well into the morning. So, let us address that particular issue, as tiredness is a constant issue with her. Is it any wonder then that she sleeps on average about 10 hours a day, rarely getting out of bed before 10:00 AM. The only times when she ever does this is when she has an appointment or somewhere to go, and even then, the rest of the day or following days are gravely impacted, because of her disrupted sleep pattern. I forget to how many days I’ve seen her get up beyond 11:00 and often past midday. Even if she goes to bed relatively early for her, which is between 22.00 and 23.00. This inordinate amount of sleeping will have an impact on anybody, And I have addressed with her to regulate and sort out this sleeping pattern as much as possible. She berated me for not understanding her sleeping needs and patterns, despite the disruption it caused me, especially so in the early mornings. Rarely, was I able to get up, get breakfast and ready for my day, whether it is for work or otherwise, whilst she slumbered till late.
The tiredness then impacts her mood and conduct as you can well imagine and this has been a particular strong challenge for our relationship over the past couple of years. Especially so when going on holiday, and if we try a long haul flight, say for more than seven or eight hours, it takes her days and days to recover. Her trip to America a couple of years ago is a prime example of that, where obviously jet lag and lack of sleep and the 9 hours plus Flight journey, totally took her out. It wasn’t until the return journey that she was fully fit again. Our trip to Cuba, one of our first long hauls, proved to be an absolute nightmare, and just getting into the hotel was such a traumatic experience. She had to sleep for more than 24 hours before any coherent sense came from her. When we first arrived in Cuba, she complained so bitterly and when I requested that we grab some food, since it had been a long, long time since we had eaten, she completely refused to support. She sat at the dinner table, refusing to move and assist. In the end, a kind waitress supported me in obtaining a small amount of food, after which, we managed to get to our room. Upon which, Rosie collapsed into bed for nearly 18 hours. I had to fend for myself, with no means of going out, obtaining food or drink, as I didn’t know the hotel complex. Needless to say, that for the rest of that holiday and for conversations thereafter about long-haul flights, Rosie has castigated me for not understanding her tiredness difficulties. This is despite me proposing solutions to obtaining food and drink during those lengthy periods of time when sleeping is not possible.
Again, with the trip to Bristol mentioned above, because Rosie had not slept well the night before, she reviled me the whole day for dragging her out to Bristol, where it was poor weather and having to make her visit the city. Indeed, to such an extent of the complaints, that we had to return to our hotel, in order for Rosie to have a lengthy afternoon nap, where I was enforced to sit around for several hours completely helpless, unable to go or eat or drink anything.
These sleeping patterns are worst labelled as laziness, at best apathy. My neglect during such periods of sleeping never bothered her, despite my mentioning of my inability to do things whilst she slumbered. There is no regard to the greater world, how folk operate in a daily world of work. Having high volume on the TV past 10:00 PM was no concern of hers. Shouting at me or moaning loudly past that hour did not trouble her conscience with neighbour’s noise expectations. With me having to get up early to take a taxi to work, there was no support with breakfasting or anything like that. I could aid myself. At no stage, not once, did she offer to get up early and to prepare breakfast.
Assurance. There wasn’t a day when she sought “assurance” about one aspect or another. About her cooking, about her personality, about her activities during the day, some recognition of what she thought or did. This wasn’t “assurance”, it was affirmation. She didn’t need others to say what she thought, did, acted was correct, she craved, yearned validation. Her way and viewpoints were the right way and you had to back that up to the hilt, without hesitation or demure. That was a bitter pill to swallow and in recent times, I learned how to make peace as best as I could by remaining quiet and not proffering my opinions. More often than not, when requested for an opinion, it was overridden, belittled or dismissed out of hand. This can be clearly demonstrated by her frequent usage of “do you know what I mean?” affirmation. Strong viewpoints are fine in themselves, but when there is no consideration for opposing reflections, then that becomes overbearing.
One of the early signs, that I later reflected, should have given me an early indicator, was when I first introduced my musical tastes to Rosie, in the first few weeks of our relationship. Within a matter of 3 songs, she had dismissed my choice of music and insisted on playing her own music on her phone, song after song for over 2 hours, without listening to any more of mine. That should have raised the first red flag for me, but I blissfully let it pass me by.
Even with friends, she rode over and controlled conversations. In some recent seminars she has attended online, she happily commented to me that the other attendants must have thought her pushy, “know-it-all” and the one constant talking. I can only imagine, far too true. I know we met a friend of mine in Endcliffe Park, Jono West, who I hadn’t seen for years. The 90 minutes’ walk was completely dominated by Rosie, riding over everything that I was trying to catch up with Jono. I was reduced to silence during that whole walk and when I highlighted this at the bus stop afterwards, all I got was hysterics. The recent trip to Bristol was another classical example. A good friend of mine there, Chris Beaumont, nearly collapsed on me with exhaustion when Rosie had visited the toilet and asked me if I was coping with the “me, me, me” aspect of Rosie. I couldn’t disagree. The conversation was about her, what she was doing and nothing about Chris or his life.
Dinner with friends Nick and Manue recently too just highlighted the fact that Rosie has to brag about all the trips that she has done, where she has been, with whom, how and the whole shebang. Bragging for Rosie is a natural default position. As her mother calls it “eleven-teeth” somebody. This particular characteristic, Rosie gets from her mother, more of which later. Conversations with friends are charged, folk are continually spoken over. This illustrates that no attention at all is paid to what they are saying. This has been commented to me by various people, no less so by Shiv in Northampton. If given the slightest opportunity in any conversation with strangers or new friends, Charlie the cat is raised as an element of topic. Shortly thereafter, the phone comes out and pictures are shown, much to the bemusement of many a friend and strangers that I have been notified of. Eye-rolling and exasperated sighs accompany these occasions. Obviously, Charlie the cat is a perpetual aspect, that Rosie greatly enjoys flouting and talking about, even to those non-cat lovers. I note Cathie in Northampton’s polite sufferance of the dialogue of Charlie, despite Rosie being fully aware that Cathie is a dog lover and a former true friend of my beloved Bovis. Charlie has been demonstratively shown to me by Rosie that her considerations are of a higher need, even so to the direct detriment of myself. When the issue of living together was ever raised, I requested clarity to how we could accommodate Charlie adequately. With the cat’s aggressive attitude, tendency to scratch and ruin furniture, propensity to attacking me, my safety and state of belongings, was never addressed. Rosie constantly claimed that she, Rosie, and the cat came as a package and to accept one, was to accept the other, with no negotiations to how that accommodation was to be accomplished. Rosie refused to address the issue of me obtaining another guide-dog and how the guide-dog association would consider having Charlie on the premises at the same time. Rosie’s flippant response to that was to simply take Charlie upstairs and out of sight of the visiting guide-dog staff. This irresponsible approach was something with which I could not abide. However, Charlie was the most important and above all other considerations. Anything else were comprehensively unimportant.
These examples of over-dominating conversations are just another example of Rosie self-absorbedness. She rode across anything that I deemed important or anything that our companions attempted to bring to the fore. If I did offer something, it was soon ridiculed or fun was made of me. More of that in the demeaning part of this account.
Back to the promiscuous weekend end of August 2026. Again, Rosie’s self-propensity for own pleasure is clearly seen in her history of partners. I agree that the calibre of male partnerships she has had previously, have sounded pretty horrific. The low quality of which, I can only guess at, but I’ll wager the immaturity aspect of her personality plays a vital role in that regard. However, as she has aged, it appears that Rosie seeks self-gratification more and more and to hell to her previous partner. She uses them for her own purposes and then discards when a better specimen comes along.
The partner before me, Ian Barker from Darnall chess Club, will be able to attest to a lot of this. I feel wholeheartedly guilty that I was Rosie’s accomplice in drawing her away from Ian to myself, when I appeared to be able to offer more. That was deluded and I beg for Ian’s forgiveness for that duplicity. How ironic then, that once Rosie became tired of me in August 2026, she finds a new victim within short order. I pray for his sanity, I hope that he gets to hear of this account and prepares himself and armours himself accordingly. Be ready, my friend.
I talked about hysterics above. This is one device that is certainly in Rosie’s weaponry. In the first year of our relationship, the “melt-downs” were frequent and loud. Often displayed in public. Her father described her behaviour in her younger years as “drama queen” like, and this could not be more apt. Tantrums, shouting, public displays of loud voice or actions and impetuousness, are not an embarrassment to Rosie. Admittedly, the melt-downs did peter away somewhat, but the shouting in public, open berating remained. Calming her down frequently meant that you had to succumb to her demands, ways. Just to appease the situation. Resistance to the tantrums, shouting, often led to suggestions of self-harm. Again, in the first year of our relationship, she did self-harm, although I think once she realised that this wasn’t having such an impact on me as it probably had on other previous partners, that tactic drew little attention. Clearly, self-harming is evident in Rosie’s past and this cry out for attention, is yet another bow to yield to her ways and her wonting. Again, I knew that Ian Barker experienced this with Rosie at her 28th birthday doo, for example. Rosie apparently attempted her life once with alcohol and had to have her parents rush to her flat in Swansea. I sincerely hope that I have had a better essay at the parody. This would be a true irony if indeed it works. God forgive me if I fail.
Let’s move onto the immaturity aspect of Rosie’s personality. Less offensive, but important enough to reflect the debasement in which she deals with folk. Just in her generic behaviour, she comes on occasions as rather child-like in her approach and attitude. This is only seldomly seen throughout the day, but there are definite areas where the immaturity displays itself. Mainly in Public settings, in speech and the language that she uses, but especially so when it is used in inappropriate environments or situations. The most common way of this immature display is through her toilet humour, which I don’t mind especially, and even have found it funny at times. However, this can be taken to extremes. She belittled me constantly for allegedly staining bed sheets in hotels and having irregular and dramatic toilet experiences. The mocking in private was one thing, but when she gleefully divulged to others in conversations, this was a deliberate ploy to embarrass and demean me. It’s when fun is made of other people And I know we had a particular case about a priest in Sheffield cathedral. This was too much though and when it was in public, it was very inappropriate. Another example of this is at Nick’s 50th birthday doo in the Wisewood inn, where personal and private information was shared amongst the dining party, making it a very awkward situation, as well as thoroughly embarrassing me.
“What is Charlie” was a question that I got at least five or six times a day, often in a stupid squeaky silly giggly voice, wanting to be responded to with inane phrases like a “monster”, or “stupid cat”, or something similar. This became particularly hurtful when my beloved Bovis kept getting mentioned all the time, although she knew perfectly well that this was something very close to my heart and his loss and the behaviour by the Guide Dog association tore me apart. She cruelly kept berating me for not wanting to talk about him, saying that I clammed up when she asked me about him. This taunting was emotional torture. She derived pleasure in seeing my discomfiture.
Some would also argue that Rosie’s relationship with her mother is also of a very immature nature. They talk for hours and hours every other day if not, day after day, all about in immaterial stuff, often full of complaints and observations of extreme viewpoints. Often I overheard how both of them commented bitterly about something I had said or done, even when it was obvious that I could overhear the conversation. These daily conversations will last on average for an hour or so, and Rosie would prioritise these conversations over any activity that we were planning, or currently engaging in. She always dismissed me when her mother rang and I was left to my own devices, even before dinner whilst the conversations were concluded.
Having a close relationship with your parents is all and good, but this is taking it to an extreme, and Rosie can rarely do something without the blessing or consent from her mother. To disregard me over the importance of talking to her mother was a very demoralising experience, I endured nearly on a daily basis. Phone records will certainly vouch for my assertions.
Some might argue that even the activities that Rosie sometimes partakes in is of an immature nature. Colouring for some can be seen as a young person’s activity, although this harms nobody in particular. The preference to colour in a book instead of reading something educational and of some entertainment value cannot be a realistic comparison. The nature of television programmes is of a low level too, reality Programs and other strange shows. However this might be a method of escapism.
The superficiality aspect is harder to define and determine. Half-arsed is the best way in which I can describe it. It could be construed as half obsessive, and I’m sure OCD is a particular trait of Rosie’s. It just glares at me that Rosie gets involved in initiatives, gets really obsessed with them for a short term and then ducks out of them just as quickly. Long term projects is something that she cannot attain to, and with such things as religion, she buys into it for so much, but then there is no full commitment. In regards to religion, she believes in so much, but has so many questions and theories about what it is all about, that it’s almost a pretence to say that she is a believer. I don’t really want to touch too much on this aspect, as I see it as an intellectual challenge rather than a question of faith, but my point is that it’s a half-baked approach to something. When she loses interest in something, which is the short term attention span, things get moved on and away very quickly. Even her nail course that she completed a couple of years ago, went on for several months and she got a qualification suitably, but even then, she has never done anything with it at all since. She’s always trying these new projects on Instagram, but even these last for a short term and then interest is soon lost. She has these high-handed aspirations of the court appearances, and is doing the witness programme as a volunteer. She thinks she would be able to do a paralegal course next summer and get suitably qualified. I wager that this will never come about and that it is yet another short term aspiration. She will come up with some other crackpot project no doubt next year, and that will not turn to fruition either. In regards to the short attention span, this had an impact on me when doing combined activities. For example, crosswords. She would partake for so long, whilst, obviously, I had to rub her back or give a massage. She would then lose focus and simply demand me to continue applying pressure on her back, whilst I had to sit there in comparative silence. It was her gratification that was of the most essential need. Other times, she would sit there endlessly scrolling and playing on her phone. I think most times absently looking at animal videos on TikTok and Instagram, completely ignoring me. Even in conversations that I attempted to hold with her, whether in general terms and serious conversations, she would blatantly use her phone and be completely distracted. If messages came in from her pageant community, these had to be immediately responded to and I became of little consequence. Phone records and screen times will indicate to how much time she spends on her device.
On her devices, she has thousands of personal videos and pictures of everybody and everything she has interacted. Again, almost as an obsession to document everything that she has done and experienced just for pontification purposes.
The innumerable times she showed me videos of my late Bovis, despite being fully aware that this was causing me endless amounts of pain and upset. She used to Jingle his collar and bell on a regular basis and call his name. I call his name on a frequent basis, whilst alone in the shower, and yet she mocked this and didn’t appreciate the trauma that it was given me. She jeered at me for calling his name out in the shower and persistently asked me if I missed him.
Even Rosie’s chess ability. Promising, but never for filled. Always attention has to be brought upon her for she has a headache, is tired, playing rubbish.
there is so much potential there if the focus could be applied, but this is not enough for her, as she has to draw attention to herself, by making excuses or over-dramatic statements and observations.
Let me turn my attention to Probably the most significant part of this account, and that is the continual and everlasting abuse that I have received over the numerous years that we have been together, however disguised it has been. It has taken me a long time to appreciate and fully understand to how much has occurred and how it got to this point. Some people may see me as vulnerable, due to my disability, and there are certain weaknesses that I am unable to overcome easily. I’ve become extremely independent over the years and I managed to do a great deal and have accomplished much in the world. I know she previously had a partner who was totally deaf, And I’m not excusing his behaviour that she has described to me previously. I do wonder though, if she preys on these so called vulnerable people in order to be able to extract as much out of them as possible. She claims to be the victim herself and of many an abuse from other partners, but is this just a screen for her actual motivations?
most of the abuse that I have endured over the years has been mainly of a psychological sense, but there has been significant physical abuse as well. Within the first couple of months, she walked me into a bridge pillar whilst travelling around Bath, and although clearly hurt and bleeding from the head, Rosie spent the time laughing and joking and belittling me. Another incident during that trip, was where she walked me into a bollard and it hit me in a rather in decorate place causing some considerable pain. Rosie again spent the time wholeheartedly laughing. She quipped that the folk watching across from the street must have also found it hilarious. She has walked me into other things, posts, walls and signs. Most of which have been accidental, but the way she laughs. She moans that it is difficult enough guiding me through places. In crowds, she always gripes that it is difficult to guide. Her walking speed has always been an issue. Despite regular reminders, she always ran, rushed to places, often dragging me physically along, often my arm being extended out in front of me, when she is hauling me along. Walking at such speeds makes navigation difficult, a heightened risk of an accident and danger to pedestrians.
Other minor occasion was once in my own living room, where she violently pushed me over and crashed me into the living room wall. There’s been other times where insignificant slapping and punching has occurred, but nothing of significance really that I could not withhold. There was one time in Brighton, when we were out in a pub with my cricket teammates, and as we were about to leave, I desperately needed the toilet. I asked Rosie to show me where it was and she point blank refused, although I did express the absolute urgency of the need. I was so shocked that she was denying me the opportunity to go despite this basic human need, I admit that I reacted in a bad way and actually retaliated by half jerking her off her feet by yanking her arm. This was the only serious time that I retaliated And I deeply regret that one deed, but when I think back at it now, I know this was my body at the time resisting against what somebody was deliberately withholding from me and a basic need that needed to be quenched.
There are other incidences of physical abuse if you like, but in a more subtle way. Things spring to mind like taking advantage of my blindness by slipping food onto my plate without telling me, clearly taken advantage and when I’ve caught her doing this, she’s just laughed and brushed it off as funny. So regarding food, Sometimes I have asked her to cut up my food, as this would make life more convenient, but she has made this into a high issue and has deliberately belittled me in public during meals by announcing and asking and prodding to allow her to cut up my food. Deliberately done obviously, just to show me up and to pronounce any inadequacies. She even did this in private and constantly berated me for not allowing her to do it in public. She kept saying that I found it really nice that she cut up the food and shouldn’t I be really grateful for her for doing that.
Now comes to the language belittling. In private this was not as much, as it did not derive as much enjoyment from her as it was in public. An example of private humiliation was when she used to constantly rub my stomach and say my chubby blind man. I know she constantly talked to people about me having a stomach, and that she liked the stomach and she wouldn’t like anything else but me to be plump. Again with many a person, and especially so with her mother, she used to describe me as having a pug face, and a very round belly. All of which is very demeaning as you can imagine. To friends and acquaintances, she said that I was “grumpy” and “grinchy”, “anti-social”, “not good with crowds” and often disclosed personal and intimate details with complete strangers.
A recent experience demonstrated perfectly the level to which she would go to control my language and freedom of speech. I deliberately enacted a few provocative comments on Facebook, mainly to gage the reaction and to verify my supposition. Indeed, it came to fruition, when she immediately deleted the comments, obviously thinking about herself and her image. Effectively, taking away my right to freedom of speech. When I tried to explain that, she was furious and ranted that she didn’t want anything that I said or thought to be displayed on a public forum. She became very adamant about this and at no stage, considered the basic right of somebody expressing their opinion. Sheer and utter disregard for anything else but her wholehearted and categoric self and image.
Rosie tells people that she used to cook for me on a regular basis, but when I tallied it up as of late, this was at best two or three times a week. Most often on a Wednesday evening, and then on the weekend if we were not out playing cricket. The way she told people that she cooked for me, it sounded though it was for every single meal, and this was never ever the case for breakfast during a workday. There were occasions on weekends when a breakfast was made, but this was more towards midday, as she certainly would not get up early on those days. She made a big announcement to try to say she cooked as many of my favourite foods as I wanted, and in the main this was true, but often I was forced to eat Italian food and pasta, which she knew I wasn’t very fond of.
She also made it a big deal to tell people that she was very kind in making up my lunch box for work, but again in the recent 3 months of my last job, she did at most two lunch boxes in a week. All the other times I had to fend for myself. For evidence that I often had to make do for my own food on an evening, please go to Wetherspoons in Hillsborough, who can vouch that I had to attend there on a very regular basis to get food. Frequently, I had to either grab food out of the freezer and make do, or I went down to the pub when I was particularly tired from work.
Rosie also claimed to people that she was very helpful around my house, but especially in the past two years, she has hardly done any cleaning at all. I appreciate that living in two houses is not easy, and she constantly complained about cleaning up in her place. Frankly, I don’t believe this in the slightest, because things never ever got tidied up in her place. In my belief, although I don’t have any particular evidence for this, the times when she was cleaning was of little worth and nothing was really done. Hoarding is clearly a problem, and in my house alone, I had to try to separate the areas very distinctly from my side to hers. Moreover, she rarely did any hoovering, and made me do the whole lot, and may have helped for one particular room whilst I did the rest of the house. I did ask her to do some painting recently, and she did about 20 minutes’ worth, but completely refused for the rest of the summer. I’m no gardening expert, but she also refused to do any assistance with the garden, although she spent a lot of time with her own garden and strawberries and other cutting devices.
Self-centred selfishness was clearly her modus operandi for this particular aspect, although this is very much across all aspects.
One very shocking incident was when we would potentially thinking about Rosie to move in with me. There would be all kinds of logistical practicalities that would be involved with that, but her overriding concern was that she would lose all of her benefits. She has house rental all paid for her and also receives PIP.
She moved the notion that if she was to move in with me, that I would permit her to claim, “Carer’s allowance”, which would make up for the lack of benefit that she is currently entitled to. This horrified me, as this would be a blatant fraudulent use of the system. In no way shape or form has Rosie ever taken any real care of me, not in washing facilities, grooming, household chores or even extensively food wise. This horrified me to such an extent that I had to halt that ambition completely in its tracks, and I was never forgiven for that and was berated for evermore for saying that I would flag it up to the authorities if she attempted such a fraud. I’m not sure if this was an idea punted to her by her mother, but either way, Rosie remained furious that I would not consider her taking such actions were it ever to occur.
She has claimed on a number of occasions to be extremely lucky and entitled to receive the benefits that she does. This enables her to live the lifestyle that she has become so accustomed, however meaningless it is. No work and living off the state is quite a way to deal with things, but her entitlement is such, she is exploiting the system as much as possible. I could not face her ever claim for carer’s allowance for me, as I have lived till now perfectly comfortably and independently Without significant personal support.
Other examples of dominance, were her belief that the man had to pay for everything when out. Financially, she must be the only lady I have spent so much additional money on, with very little gratitude. She has an expectation to that the man will pay for all dates, meals, and even trips out. Contributions have been made towards holidays, trips away, And I don’t deny that, But I have had to shell out probably 80% of all expenditure whilst we’ve been together. Train fairs, hotels, food and other such things. She claims to be a “traditional” female partner. I understand about tradition, and chivalry, but there’s an extent to how far this will go. In meals out, she makes a feeble suggestion to pay something towards the bill, but is perfectly aware that contributions will not be collected. A recent trip to London saw me get a bit of a backbone, and deliberately say that we would have to share a Gregg’s meal, after which she flew off the handle saying that this was not a couple’s way to do things. Again, that hammered home to me exactly to where we had been operating for the past couple of years and what the expectation was from her side. I’ve had to suffer all kinds of enforced trips, especially so, beach holidays normally, once a year, which are not my scene at all. Our latest visit to Kos, where I had to pay for most of Rosie’s trip and a hefty extra for the extravagant bungalow. Even during that trip, a boat tour to Turkey, was enforced upon me, where I was dragged around the town, buying various handbags, for no particular reason. Whilst in discussion with other tourists alongside us, I was described as the “donkey” of the excursion and only there to carry the goods. Reports about that can be seen in recent posts on Facebook. Even one of my cousins commented on Facebook that Rosie had a problem, or even my wallet had a problem. I responded that it was the domestic abuse and domination That was the factor there. Rosie bought the handbags, because that is a part of her materialistic upbringing, and stance. Fashion design and having the most recent labels, most expensive accessories, is just another aspect of what was expected. I bought two pieces of jewellery for her, because they were not of her standard liking, they were soon discarded and all of that money wasted. She kept saying to me that if I was to buy her stuff, she wanted only gold. Going around on shopping trips with her and the discussions that I’ve heard with Rosie and her mother, just shows that names and spending money is the right thing, so that they have bragging rights, and they expect the men of the family to cough up their hard earned cash for such luxuries. I’m sure Ed, Rosie’s father, can substantiate this.
There was also other types of financial abuse, things that I had to buy, which were not needed. It might be used once and never again. Classic examples are things like the coffee machine and juice mixer that are on my sideboard in the kitchen. The juicer mixer specially bought for maybe one or two occasions. I was forced to buy Netflix with Sky with the latest Sky Glass television, although I have never ever used this in my life or even whilst in Sheffield. Other Evidence of extraneous expenditure can be seen right throughout the cupboards in my kitchen, where I had to buy excess foods, especially for complicated dishes, that were used once partially and then put back in the cupboard and never ever used again. Especially so in the cupboards above and below and around the oven. Even in the fridge, the many jars, used once and never again. Such expensive ingredients that were used for 1 dish and then disregarded.
Celebrations is also another classical example. Festival periods such as Christmas, in Rosie’s opinion, had to be big and bright with expensive and abundant presents. She always demanded to go to her parents to do these extravagant celebrations, and even stated that in the slim chance that we were ever to have children, that she would spoil them rotten for these such occasions. She demanded expensive presents for herself, but returned gifts of paltry value, often being in single figures. Materialism is certainly built into Rosie.
Control is something that Rosie always has to have. This is a learned behaviour from her mother, who has to control Rosie and her family in accordance. This is a behaviour that Rosie has learned, and imitates, as again, it looks good with her mother and satisfies her own need. When my own mother made the viewpoint that Rosie’s mother was controlling, Rosie flew off into a rage and subsequently sulked for a long, long time. Criticism is something that Rosie and her parents and especially so, her brother Billy, cannot take. It’s no surprise to learn when in the presence of the family, I felt extremely suppressed, and very intimidated. Having never been welcomed into the home, with obstacles at every single point being thrown up to stay or to get involved, a clear resentment was born on both sides. Even recently, at Rosie’s father’s retirement due, I was badgered for some considerable time for vacillating to whether to go or not. Not wanting to suffer any further social humiliation, as I knew I would be impelled to do so, I resisted as long as possible, eventually escaping by the need to work. Rosie got extremely angry about this and even commented that her brothers newly formed girlfriend, pulled off a sicky from work to attend and that showed a level of commitment, whereas Rosie’s partner of four years couldn’t stoop to such low acts. It is not just the physical and conduct that was suppressing, but in family situations, volume levels and even the belittling from all sides was so oppressive that it was very depressing to experience. No wonder that I went into my shell as soon as possible in a way to escape. So yes, I blame Rosie especially for displaying the control and behaviour, but this was learned and executed and developed and passed down from the parents.
Even my alcohol consumption was controlled by Rosie. Every man certainly likes a drink, And I fully admit that since I lost my job at the University of Derby, the early months of 2025, January and February, were a very low period of my life. Significant depression set in and I sought solace from the whiskey bottle. This did get out of hand, and it did take a brutal wake-up from Rosie to bring that to an ahead. She stormed out, venting fury from all sides. It was about this time that I started to really fully appreciate how controlled I was being. I accepted that the alcohol consumption of whiskey in such amounts was unhealthy and was not doing me any good at all. I resolved that matter, but then was very aware of the historical abuse and manipulation I had been put under. Again in my naivety, I thought I could wallow and live out the time until I got another job, and potentially start to flourish and be able to offer her more material and resources, that I would be sure would satisfy all of her needs. Annoyingly, the university sector is in such a mess, that it took me a long time to find new employment, although I have to state that I wasn’t trying all that hard. I was freewheeling at that point, trying to decide whether to accept with full submission the life that I was being subjected to, or whether I should try to fight. I admit that during those times, I procrastinated and eventually understood that I was not strong enough to fight and would yield to the ultimate control and abuse. Because of where everything is, the life I’ve had to lead and suffer, the state of the job market, and especially the nature of my current job at the University of Bradford being completely broken and no feasible way to fix it, I think the point has become to where I wish to escape the control and abuse. My other hobbies have somewhat stagnated, my chess level is not as high as it once was, and I don’t derive as much enjoyment from that as I once did. I realise that I have plateaued, and that I have achieved and accomplished everything I will ever do in that regard. So in overall terms, I am fairly content to what I have done, what I have been.
My one true relief is that I was never up front with Rosie about my actual financial situation. If Rosie had any inclination of my actual financial status, I’m confident that she would have tried to exploit it as much as possible. I know that when I lost my job at the University of Derby, Rosie’s mother suggested to her that she took control of my finances and did some budgeting. A hugely frightening prospect if there ever was. Happily, I was able to keep my financial security in secret and have been able to prevent that from being completely wasted.
Judgement is also exercised by Rosie, despite her saying that she tries not to. She’s stereotypical in her views of how people are dressed in and around the streets, and is extremely critical of parents and styles. Her friend in Swansea, Sophie, is a prime example of this And Rosie was highly critical and opinionated about the Way that Sophie and Darren were bringing up their child. She made this clearly evident with everybody she spoke to, including me, her parents and friends
None of this is to say that Rosie didn’t help on occasions. This is absolutely true and in some respects, her support was invaluable. But even when extreme kindness was offered, it was always tinged with a bit of bitterness or sarcasm. An example is the online E-modules training that I have to do, and have had to do in previous employments. We have done these together, although it will often mean that I have to do some massaging or rubbing of her back as a quid-pro-quo, but she has gone through them, because they have not been very accessible. But even then, as we complete it, the jibing at the corporal ness of it all was always present. mocking and derisive And Rosie always expressed the opinion that the wokeness of it all was just completely idiotic.
I’m pretty confident to say that Rosie’s parents won’t shed many tears to see the back of me. Having never welcomed me into their homes and lives with authentic warmth, they can now hope that Rosie will find a more worthy mate. I’m sorry that I didn’t prove to be the one that they saw fit for their daughter.
Even on the evening of Sunday 30th August, after my fleeting visit to the North-East. I decided to make contact, as I wasn’t prepared to be sitting around forever, waiting to see if Rosie would get in touch, suspecting that she would simply leave me in suspension. That’s the type of cruel behaviour that she has displayed historically and of which I had a notion that she was planning to yet again dish out. A quick text to her mother duly ratified my glimmer, as I was told that Rosie would get back to me in a month. Prolonging the agony and intending to leave me in a suspended state of apprehension and anxiety for that period. Sheer indicative of the vindictiveness of Rosie and her parents. If that wasn’t final evidence enough, the utter indifference of Rosie’s final phone call drove the final nails into the coffin. When I asked for some kind of closure to what had occurred, the blasé response was proffered, as if nothing else was less important than the fact that somebody’s life was being torn apart. And, yes, can we rap this conversation up, before she had to go and have dinner. Apparently, it was not her responsibility to how somebody else felt, how they behaved or what actions they then took. That, there, in a nutshell, capsulated Rosie’s sheer disregard for anybody else, but herself, in one glaring moment of clarity. The cold carelessness was breathtaking. When I was clearly distressed on the phone, Rosie spoke dispassionately in a matter of fact manner, stating that she was keeping her feelings under check, when indeed, one could hear the glee concealed within. Even in that final conversation, Rosie had to assert some kind of power, exuding disdain once I notified her that I had not been at work due to the impact things were having on me. No concern at all was uttered and the merciless arrangements for collecting her possessions on Tuesday 01 September was the forefront of her considerations. No mind at all was put to the torture I had undergone during that week. No pity, no sorrow or the hint of empathy. Rosie had clearly enjoyed her week away, whilst relishing in the pain she was causing me, with absolutely no intension of alleviating the torment. Such sadism is simply barbarous. Both Rosie and her mother’s clipped responses to my texts were business-like, emotionless and categorically without compassion. If I ever needed any endorsement of Rosie’s exoneration for her responsibility to another’s feelings, I had it there, prominent in its abundancy.
There isn’t a great deal more that I can add now. It is just for me to outline what type of steps I would like now to be taken in the foreseeable future. These are my requests and I hope sincerely that they can be fulfilled as much as possible. If nothing else from my friends and the people, who know me out there, if you can strive to conclude my chapter in this world with these final requests, you would have my ultimate gratitude. I appreciate that this has been a very lengthy tale, and a lot of it could be construed as circumstantial evidence, but it is my story and this is what I would like for my version to be told. I have no doubt at all that Rosie will come out with various rejoinders, much emphasis on denial, and rejection, and I would plead with one and all to review what I have penned here with the objectivity of an experienced life. If substantiating evidence can be ascertained from the various people I have quoted throughout this account, then please do so. If those quoted could possibly verify on the various platforms, such as Facebook or via the blog.
As outlined at the start of this account, the principal purpose was to widen the awareness by the sharing of the post and spreading of the blog link. This will inevitably allow the word to be cascaded. In my humble opinion, this account details traits of:
•Domestic abuse
•Financial and material abuse
•Neglect and acts of omission
•Organisational abuse
•Emotional and psychological abuse
•Physical abuse
•Discriminatory abuse
I would like somebody to look into this, and if there are indeed indicators of any of the bullet points listed, I would wholly appreciate that it was brought to the attention of the authorities. Such acts of abuse should not go unrecognised and unpunished.
I have given control of my finances to my mother, who would be able to distribute accordingly. I would like somebody to make arrangements for a get together and celebration of my life within a Sheffield setting, at a pub or a community location. This should hold food and drinks and speeches to celebrate Me and My Accomplishments. I will ask her to make funds available to make this possible, and I would like to invite all the most important people to have known me to and hear people’s accounts and experiences of my life. I sincerely beseech somebody to take a lead on this. I have Geoff Brown in mind from Darnall chess club as a possible candidate for such an event. Possibly even the Darnall chess club for the event too. That may be a bit small for the numbers, so a function room in a hotel may be more appropriate. Everybody, please try and attend and show the togetherness of a community. My mother has a copy of my will and in that, I have stated that a crematorium is to be preferred. That affair may not be lavish, but allow the aftermath reception and wake to be a place of enjoyment and celebration. Let it not be a sad affair. Look positive to what has been done by me and the legacy that I leave.
After the devastating denouncement of my relationship with Rosie, I travelled briefly to the north-east. Mainly to see my mother for the final time and to debrief my dear, long-term school friend Alex. To whom, all of this will truly come at a dear cost. For that Alex, I’m truly sorry. Feel glad that you gave me great comfort in our last encounter and that your love and support was always a corner stone for me throughout my life. Your solace in confirming all my feelings and my understanding of Rosie gave me the certainty to what was really true and that I was not illuding myself. Your insightful analysis of the situation, attitudes and actions into Rosie were perceptive and all too accurate. I just hope that others, having read this account, can also determine the truth herein and see Rosie for what she truly is. Alex, you gave great advice on how I should proceed, and in the main I wholeheartedly agreed. I should rise above it all, appreciate that I am the better person and allow the flop some to float away with the tide. Unfortunately, plateaus of hurt can go so far and I’ve sadly fallen off the far side, but not discontentedly. I smiled when you mentioned that I should pen my memories. Agreed, that I would have liked my story to have been broader recounted and this is a project that I would have relished. However, time does not permit this and I will have to leave this for anybody else to bring that project to fruition. I’m sure that it would be a great story all in all and speaking to my many friends will bring together the various adventures that I have led. I’m sure that it would make for a very amusing volume. Alex, please let folk know the depth of sorrow I had sunk, when I saw you. Truly, I’d never been so down, not just with the situation, but all involved, and mostly, immeasurable sadness for myself.
Even the day Rosie came to collect her things, a day after she returned from her eventful joyous trip to London. Tuesday 01 September. She marched up to the front door, inserted her key, just expecting to waltz right in. I opened up the front door, went upstairs and sat in my office whilst Rosie went about her business, collecting and packing her things. Not once, not a single time, did she ask about my welfare, the work situation, what plans I had. No interaction with me apart from a few curt comments about how much stuff she had and wanting to exchange door keys. There was absolutely zero interest, no gesture at all to suggest any kind of compassion or care for another human being. Not that I needed any more ratification, but to why I hadn’t seen or realised this person for what she truly was before. I’ve gone through sadness, anger, melancholy, bitterness and finally, slowly but inevitably, reached peace.
I’ve pondered a lot over recent times about what love actually means. Although having several relationships, I can confidently state that I have loved but a few. In my university days, I fell hard for Graniah. Thereafter, Texan Leanne was the only other, who was truest to my heart. I despondently have to face up to the fact that loving Rosie was the most intense and absolute glory that I ever experienced. Even at the bitter end, that betroth was everlasting and all-consuming.
I also want to put on record that I hold no personal grudge or blame onto Jonathan Arnott, who introduced Rosie into my world. The book launch event was a coincidence and it is no fault of his that I was attracted to Rosie and subsequently initiated matters. Him and his wife’s friendship with Rosie has had no direct affect on what has occurred. I hold neither of them to account and wish them to feel exonerated from what has subsequently followed. I feel that both of them have been as equally manipulated as much as I and I hold no disgruntlement in that regard. I would, however, ask Jonathan and Charlotte, to carefully reflect and evaluate your relationship with Rosie and clarify the validity and genuineness of it as a matter of conduct. She has assisted occasionally with the running of the Chess Centre, but are her contributions and actual authenticity aligned with your values? You alone can ascertain to those reminiscences.
Whilst visiting the North-East for the last time, I walked around to Baffin Court in Thornaby with Sherpa, where I started my life. Walking with Sherpa, a 14-year-old dog, was very therapeutic and gave me the opportunity to contemplate the overall perspective. That gave me clarity of mind. Baffin Court, is where so many things happened and the humble existence of Chris Ross commenced. It was touching to reflect that where it started, I stood in peace with myself knowing that I had made differences in this world and that I was leaving it in a better state.
All questions and notifications to my brother, who can be found on Facebook via this link
https://www.facebook.com/davidjohn.ross.9
If you wish to message Rosie herself on Facebook, you can here:
Although I suspect that this may change very rapidly, once folk have seen this account.
If Rosie’s profile disappears, I’m sure that her sister-in-law will pass on relevant comments. Rachel Irwin can be found at
https://www.facebook.com/rachel.scheide
Her brothers Danny and Shay Irwin can be found on Facebook too.
Jonathan Arnott rents a house to Rosie in the Woodhouse area of Sheffield. I’m confident that he can pass on any correspondence. He can be found at
https://www.facebook.com/jonathan.arnott.94
Can I offer my sincere apologies for the folk, who will find me. I wouldn’t wish that on anybody and I hope, with all my heart, that they can suitably recover and that the experience and trauma of finding somebody like me does not affect them for the remainder of their lives. I would have, of course, found a better way, but with little time and limitations in my preparations, this was the best solution I could find. Please, please offer those people suitable support in the aftermath of this saddening occasion. Again, I stress that I hope that when they discover me, everything will be over. Peace will, at last, have happened and the escape from my pain and hurt achieved. I hope that I am successful and that the suffering is not prolonged. If there is any justice in this cruel world, then I would have bought my ticket successfully and followed the train away from those, who wish me harm.
I have set up a Just-Giving page briefly, in order for some financial support to be offered to Rosie, in her hour of need. Ironic, I know, since she was not there for me in my hour. However, all of you, please donate a small £2.00 gesture towards her, just to remind her of those, who truly valued me. Donate here:
My final salvos are to Rosie herself, if she has had the courage to reach this far, which sadly, I doubt. I suspect that she has disregarded most of my sentiments and is laboriously scrambling to find all kind of spurious justifications and reposts. I venture that little remorse is felt, as clearly demonstrated by her behaviour and conduct during the week away in London of 24th August. I doubt any future penance will be forthcoming, as her short-sightedness will blind her to the wreckage of her actions.
I’ll repeat to you now Rosie, when I posed the question in our last phone call, to whether now, you fully understand and appreciate the enormity of the impact of your actions and conduct? You repeatedly said that you were not responsible for any aftermath. Do you see the affect that it will have on the chess communities, in Sheffield, in the North-East, in the BCA, and right across the VI cricketing circuit? Yet alone across the disability support services in the higher education sector? Hopefully, the pageant community will come to understand as well. And not least the Ross family and the extended cohort? You state that you do, but I doubt it truly. Maybe after all of this, you may slowly glimmer to that understanding. Slowly, but inevitably, you may come to appreciate that merciless actions and behaviour have repercussions that are beyond your immediate control. Your disingenuousness and appalling conduct has far-flung consequences that affect more than you, yourself. If nothing else from this experience, I beg of you, to stop thinking about yourself constantly, take yourself out of the focus and start to regard your fellow man/woman as an equal and that they, beyond your own fixated self-absorption, and take into account their feelings, emotions and critically, their wellbeing.
Well, as they say, “that’s all folks”. I don’t have time to write to everybody to thank them for their friendship during my life. There’s a couple of you very special ones, who I will drop a very quick note to, but for those, who I don’t message, do not take it personally. Time limitations and such hinder me from doing so. I wish one and all my sincere best wishes and hope that you accomplish all that you desire. For me, my time has arrived, shorter than expected, but the freedom I seek is too compelling. Rest assured though, that I go with the contentment that I have achieved a great deal and am proud of what I have done in many aspects. My shadow has passed, but let there be a lingering memory, that is forever there.
Chris Ross
13 November 1978 – 03 September 2026